So teach us to number our days that we might have a heart of wisdom. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. The tongue of the wise brings healing.
Today is my mother’s 91st birthday. The burden to acknowledge this publicly with words that carry meaning hovers over me. So, here I go.
What do you say about a woman who is 91 years old, who has been a faithful wife to her husband of 69 years, who has raised ten children after losing one sweet daughter; a woman who continues to have a relationship with all of her children and still is able to laugh; a woman who wants for nothing except conversation and possibly more peace.
Yes, she still wants for more peace. When asked what she wanted for her birthday, she was quiet a bit and then replied, “Peace.” Funny thing, this is what I want, too, every day. I want it for my family, for my friends, for my church, for my country…and for my mother.
She made a habit of striving for peace. She often would say, “The less said, the better.” She often would say, “That’s water over the dam; let it go.” She often would say, “That’s OK. Just forget about it.” She often would say, “In five years, it won’t mean a thing.” Although I have criticized her for not addressing more things, or shall we say confronting them, I guess I can’t criticize her for the consistent effort to strive for peace. After all, isn’t this what we all want? In fact, we go to war to have peace. Interesting thing, sometimes avoiding war maintains peace, but sometimes engaging in the war is needed to establish peace. It takes wisdom and patience to ascertain the different action.
She never wanted conflict; on the contrary, she made a concerted effort to keep her mouth shut, confront little, and act like there was no problem. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not, but this is what her bent has been. Wisdom says that the less said, the better. Even Job’s foolish friends did well to keep their mouths shut for seven days. She may have kept her mouth shut to the rest of us, but I think heaven heard her because she spent plenty of time on her knees, alone, while the rest of us were…shall we say striving for peace with too many words.
And still, at age 91, her request for her birthday represents something intangible, but yet something we all grasp for and often without realizing it. We avoid pain, we avoid discomfort, we avoid fear, and certainly we try to avoid war. None of us like the stress that comes from disharmony, unless of course, one is addicted to it and has an unhealthy desire for this emotional sickness. Truly, most of us yearn and grasp for the intangible pleasure of peace, at least I do.
So, my mother at age 91, shows the wisdom of her years to desire what most people desire, peace, a good desire. Little children want it; teenagers want it; young adults want it; grandmas and grandpas want it; and of course the elderly want it, too; and truly, everyone on their deathbed wants it. She does not envy what others have and never did. She was content with being a wife and mother, watching the news, going to her prayer closet, and reading her Bible, the source of peace…and wisdom
My sister-in-law who asked my mother what she wanted for her birthday challenged her to at least admit something my mother wanted that she could hold in her hands. I was surprised that she didn’t ask to hold a baby, but instead she said, “Something to eat.” How about a cake? “Yes, give me cake.” A cake was already in the making.
Happy birthday to my dear mother, not perfect, not completely at peace, but still true to her principle of few words…and, of course, the sweet tooth.