DYNAMOMENTS – How a Man Loves a Woman

UNDERSTANDING – How a Man Loves a Woman

The bride is excited and looking forward to the wedding feast.

When the man started to love the woman, I am not sure.  He asked her father’s blessing on February 12. They became engaged on February 13.  The wedding is May 21. 

It says in Proverbs 30:19 that there are four things that are too amazing for him, four that he does not understand.

As he writes, “There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:  The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a young woman.” 

The New Living Translation puts it this way:  “There are three things that amaze me — no, four things that I don’t understand.  How an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.”

I would like to draw your focus on the last part of verse 19 “how a man loves a woman”.

The writer doesn’t say that he cannot understand these things or that he will never understand them.  He states in present tense that he doesn’t understand, that they are too amazing for him.  I like the admission.

I have often felt this way, too.  Some things are too amazing for me, too hard to understand.  This, however, does not mean that they are beyond my understanding or that they are beyond God’s ability to help me to understand or to show me.

So many things are amazing when you take time to ponder them:  the sunrise, the sunset, the wind, the mercy of God, His faithfulness, the conception of a child, the development of language.  How can I stop?  The miracles of old, the near escapes from death and trouble, how I met my husband…we could go on and on.

I call to remembrance pleasant blessings.  When I was young enjoying the courting and devotion of my now husband, I did not realize how his love and devotion was apparent to others, nor did I grasp their long term significance.  I appreciated what I had and knew that it was a gift, but I did not know that it impacted others.

Before we became engaged, we visited his aunt in Kansas City where a very good older friend of mine also lived.  She was a mentor to me and someone who cared about me long before my husband came on the scene.  Both woman were near 80.  My husband’s aunt, of course, was already fond of him, but my friend, who had been a fellow teacher years ago, did not know him yet.  We visited her and spent just a couple of hours with her, but she very easily detected that he had great love and devotion for me.  Because of this, she immediately became endeared to him; she cared for him; she was his friend and in full support of our relationship.  She cared about me so much that she had a personal interest in my wellbeing, somewhat like an aunt or a mother.  She would have been on guard if the young man did not prove to pose a safe future for me.

I still remember her face, her fortitude, her delight when she said to me, “Oh, he loves you so much.”  It was so emphatic.  At the time I thought to myself, “Yes, I believe he does; I am not doubting this.”  However, I did not realize the impact that his care for me would have on others.  This has been a pleasant memory and thought in the back of my mind until recently when I came to a new understanding of the power of his love for me because of how another man loves a woman.

What triggered my remembrance of this as well as the new and increased understanding of this, “how a man loves a woman”?  Well, as usual, the Lord increases our understanding of His ways through our experiences and through other people, especially the ones we love so much.  In this case it was through my daughter and “how a man loves a woman”. 

My daughter’s recent  engagement to this very good, young man who walks with the Lord, who wants to serve Him, who wants to worship him and who wants to help other young men and other people to know the Lord more deeply is beyond my understanding.  I am so grateful for this.  To know the Lord, to walk with Him, to want to share Him with others shows that his faith is serious and that he stands on a firm foundation, Jesus Christ his Lord.  This not because of my daughter; this was who he was before he met my daughter who also has the same desires.  How I thank God for this.

What strikes me so powerfully, however, is the same realization that my friend had years ago  concerning my husband is now my realization.  She identified his great love and devotion to me.  I now identify the same love and devotion in this young man for my daughter, and wow, how much my understanding has increased.

So what was too amazing for me before that I now understand with more clarity?  It wasn’t  necessarily just  “how a man loves a woman”.  It was greater than this.  It was the transfer of love.  It was the impetus to love.  It was the “I can’t help but to love” that has occurred in me.  Because this young man loves my daughter, I love him.  I regard him with devotion.  I am committed to him. I can’t help it.  This is not because I have grown to love him because he loved me or that he has impressed me so much; I think it is because he loves my daughter whom I loved before he came to love her.

The significance?  Isn’t this the way it is with God.  He loves us.  But how much greater the loving action of adoption He extends because we love His Son, Jesus Christ.  This is our bridge to heaven, Jesus Christ.  When we love His Son, we love God.  It is the transfer.  Because we love His Son, we are redeemed.  Because we are devoted to His Son, God looks upon us with favor.  This is not because we have impressed Him with our competence, our obedience or our good works; it is because we love His Son.

Do you see the connection?  Just like I have a love and devotion to this young man because he loves and is devoted to my daughter, God has a different view of us because we love His Son.  My daughter smothers him with the same devotion and love; my daughter would probably ask me anything on his behalf; my daughter has made him a priority and because of this, I view him as a priority and as belonging to me just as God views us as a priority and as belonging to him because of Jesus.

Jesus also smothers us with devotion and love; He asks on our behalf; He has made us a priority.  Most importantly, he has smothered us with his blood; He intercedes for us continually before the Father; He adopted us to be a priority like a son or a daughter.

This transfer even extends much farther than just to this man.  His mother, my daughter’s future mother-in-law, is thrilled with my daughter; she loves my daughter; she has become devoted to my daughter, too.  So now, I feel this devotion to this woman who is the mother of the young man who is devoted to my daughter.  All because of love. 

Isn’t’ this the way God works?  All because of love?  We love because He first loved us.  Not only does my daughter have someone who loves her in a way that I cannot, the young man also has someone who loves him in a way that the daughter cannot.  The future mothers-in-law both have someone new to love, not just the son and daughter, but each other.  The siblings of the two also have someone else to love.  The synergy of the gift of love transfers and will surely continue to transfer.

It says in I Corinthians 13 that “these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.”  This unexpected “how a man loves a woman” increased my understanding not just in my brain, but in my heart, and truly in my beliefs that the greatest of these is indeed love.

Let God increase your understanding, not just in love or in romance or wedding planning.  Let him increase your understanding in all that supports love:  forgiveness, faithfulness, diligence, kindness, goodness, humility, service, worship, surrendering your desires for what He wants for you.  Just like so much exists that we cannot understand because we look through veiled eyes, so much exists to extend love to others.  Don’t let it stop at the wedding of two young people, but let it continue until the wedding feast of the Lamb when the true Bridegroom comes for His bride.  Let your understanding of His love grow and grow until we all embrace God in the fullness of being His Bride of Christ.